What is your motivation for change?
We may dream of changing our lives but unless
we have the motivation to make that change it will remain just a dream. To help
us find that boost which gets us to our goal it is useful to understand what
actually motivates us.
On a basic level there are two motivators,
“away from” and “toward”, sometimes known as pain and pleasure or the carrot
and the stick etc.
The “away from” motivation comes from our
desire to leave or get rid of something. For example, we might want to lose
weight to escape a negative body image, join the gym to escape health problems
or join a group to escape loneliness. It is not just goal is our life that the
“away from” motivator works, it is there at a basic level. We eat to get rid of
hunger and we run away when we sense danger. The “away from” motivator is a
part of our fight or flight response.
On the flip side the “toward” motivator takes us
toward pleasure and success, again it works at a base level, those times we
eat, not because we are hungry but because we are seeking the pleasure of
eating something that ignites our pleasure hormones. The “toward” motivator is
about adding something to our lives, making ourselves feel better, losing
weight because you have an event where you want to impress, joining the gym for
the buzz the feel of exercise gives you, joining a group because you want to
expand you existing network etc.
Both forms of motivation are equally legitimate
yet both can sometimes lack something in getting the change we want.
When the motivation to achieve something is “away
from” we can have that initial push to get us going but once we a sufficiently
far away from what it was we wanted to escape our momentum can falter. Think of
it like using your feet to push you off in a swimming pool, the push itself
will only get you so far, without any other action you will just be stuck
mid-water.
With “toward” motivation we may gain momentum
as we close in on our goal but it is getting started in the first place that
may be the issue. Imagine you want to drive somewhere where you can really
enjoy yourself, you won’t get there though until you turn the key in the
ignition and spark the engine into life.
The real key is to use both methods in order to
succeed, push and pull to get you where you ultimately want to be.
Start by thinking about what it is you want to
change in your life and why you want to achieve that change. Is your primary
motivation “away from” or “toward”?
Be honest with yourself. We can sometimes fail
to recognise our true motives, hiding them behind things we prefer to believe.
Once you have figured out what it is that is
motivating you move to the other end of the goal and find some motivating
factor there too.
So if your initial motivation is “away from”
think about what achieving you goal will gain you, what is waiting for you when
you get to the finish line, what will success bring you. Say you want to join a
group, evening class or such because you feel an element of loneliness in your
life, you know your “away from” but what is your “toward”. Imagine the
possibilities developing that new skill or knowledge will bring, the focus on
the one possibility that really ignites your imagination.
If, on the other hand, your primary motivation
is a “toward” one, what is it that is going to ignite that engine and get you
moving. Perhaps, you want to be a great dancer, writer or something similar but
what will that move you away from? If you are looking to achieve success it
does, to a certain degree, mean you are feeling unsuccessful now so use that as
you push forward.
Some things automatically lend themselves to
having a push and a pull but others we need to dig deep to find the other end
of the line that we will be travelling. By finding our “away from” and “toward”
motivation we double our chances in succeeding in achieving change and success.
So flex those motivational muscles and head
confidently toward your success.
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