When you are a
young adult you can get away with a lot of unconventional behaviour, people
will label you as a rebellious type, a bohemian or, perhaps, a free spirit.
When you are a
much older adult you can also get away with unconventional behaviour, this time
you will be labelled as a bit of a character or, perhaps, a harmless eccentric.
Yet for those
of us stuck in the middle years unconventional behaviour is often frowned upon
as society demands we are sensible, conventional and just plain ordinary. Any
deviation from the ordinariness meets with such labels as “a bit weird” “odd”
or, of course, the classic “must be having a mid-life crisis!”
While, as
mentioned before, we humans crave some degree of conformity there is a
difference between us choosing to conform and having conformity thrust upon us
by societies decreed expectations. Us humans don’t particularly like change,
especially when that change is outside our control. So if we, as individuals,
choose to take control and make changes in our lives, those around us can
become a little resistant because it is outside of their control.
How we react
when faced with being labelled and challenged by others not only varies from
person to person but also within ourselves. The more confident we are in our “non-conformist”
behaviour the more likely we are to shrug off the opinions of others.
However when we
are starting out making changes in life or doing something different our
confidence levels are lower and when others throw challenges at us we are more
likely to cave in to pressure and abandon our cause.
To successfully
move from the conventional and ordinary life we need to develop ways to meet
the challenges from others.
Firstly, always
keep in mind why you want to make that change in your life. When others
challenge or try to label you negatively just focus on the important elements
that made you decide that you needed to do something different. You certainly
don’t need to justify yourself to others, you just need to hold your focus on
you own reasons. You could write these down and revisit them every time someone
casts doubt in your mind, you could get into the routine of repeating the
reasons to yourself every morning before you head out to face the world or you
could just simply have faith in yourself knowing the reasons you have are the
best for you right now.
Another way to
develop that self-belief and self-confidence is to connect with others who are
pursuing the same goal or dream as you. You can join a club, a class or just
gather a group of like-minded friends together. Nowadays, thanks to the
internet, you can even connect with like-minded people around the world. By
connecting with others who are following the same path you know you are not
alone, when others throw doubts and labels at you, feeling alone can be
demoralising yet knowing there are others like you helps build that confidence
within because it means you are not “odd” or “having a mid-life crisis” but,
instead, you are taking control of your life just as many others are doing.
The pressures
to be ordinary, safe and unchanging can be immense but if we want to live our
lives in a way that brings us a sense of being, a sense of satisfaction and a
sense of happiness then we need to break free from those restraints and forge
our own path. Naturally we have to be mindful of others but those who love us
will obviously benefit from us being happier and more fulfilled in our lives.
Forget being
ordinary become extra ordinary and become the person you truly want to be.
